LOL

FOURTH EDITION COMMENTS

TOP STORY

The pLOpPeR Returns

Mr. Eddie Rabbit: I heard different. At our Lacquer of Shoeless Horse, while the Headless Horseman was tossing pumpkins, his horse with no name tossed her shoes in order tiptoe quietly across the tennis court so as not to rouse the Tea Time Day Care Center? Thoughtful, really.

BACK PAGE

EASTER EGG HUNT

Moe Rumm: Hi, I'm Moe Ronn's brother. I'd wanna know if this here Easter Egg Hunt ... & Mystery is gonna be like last years Hop Over Tailgate?

MYSTERY

Senator Neehigh: I used to have a few jokes about pairs of matching socks but I’ve lost one.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Bridget Thicke: Darling,My name is Mrs.Theresa McIngurah,i am an American citizen. I have something important to tell you.Reply me immediately you get this message. Bless your heart

LOL: Dear TMcI:

Why me?

Heart Blessed

Bridget Thicke: Dearie, This card Center will send you an ATM CARD valued $8.3 million dollars through DHL which you will use to withdraw your money in an ATM MACHINE in any part of the world, and get back to you quickly with full details on where to send your card to. We shall be expecting to receive your information. From Ms. Harriet Marone M. Michelle .Payment Officer. (Truer Bank)

LOL: Dear HMMM: $8.3 million? Hmmm. Couldn’t you use DoorDash so we can save on the DHL service charge? Lol E. Pop

Bridget Thicke: Babycakes, my name is Roset--

LOL: Let me stop you right there. Lol E. Pop

THIRD EDITION COMMENTS

TOP STORY

The eLOPeRs

LOL: ... got one more:

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Tail.

Tail who?

Tail all your friends Happy Valentine’s Day!

Doc Holliday Inn:

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Owl.

Owl who?

Owl be your huckleberry!

SIDEBAR

GREEN NEEDLES

Eustace Charleton Haney: Green Needles is a reboot of Green Acres. It will be produced right here in Lawns Of Pigeon Reiki, for a nom-yew-nal fee.

LOCAL SPORTS NEWS

COVID-19

Sandy von Trapp: Since we only have the one community golf cart, may players select from among the many cars, trucks and motorcycles in our carports?

Moe Ronn: Of course. Just be forewarned that the speed limit remains 10 MPH for everyone except the ball with the cute dimples.

WORD SEARCH

Gorton: What did my wife give me for Valentine's Day? .sbarC

SECOND EDITION COMMENTS

TOP STORY

The pLOpPeR

Dr. Nill Hi: The Ironic Meteorites:

• • • • Meteorite #OR201 aka RockSolid: the Swiss cheesy-looking meteorites because their holy—or salt and peter.

      • Meteorite #LM230 aka RockSteady is the precariously teetering meteorite outside the home of the enveLOPeR near our post boxes.

Spinal Tap:

• 1. • Meteorite #LP100-b aka Stone Henge: While possibly, properly rearranged, the meteorites could have been seen as the New World’s very own Druidic Stone Henge, but the world body of Smurfs, Trolls And Barbies refused to confirm the designation because—and we quote—“Let’s go Brandon.”

2001:

• 1. • Meteorite #LP100-a aka The Monoliths: An Odyssey of rectangular rocks, from space, strewn about the soon to be home of Buckee’s Brie Ball Pit, appearing to have once been lined up like a marching band or the Rockettes in a kick-line, may have begun their descent—scientists suppose—as an asteroid of maj jong tiles—or, from the holes, maybe dominoes.

2020:

• • • • Meteorite #LM120 aka Rockda Voat: Build-a-Brandon. Scientists believe this may have survived the plummet as it appears exactly as you’d expect. 💩

Hard Rock Trivia: All these meteorites slamming into our hamlet and not as much as a divot in the blacktop of Reservoir of Wining Ditch.

Sandy von Trapp: Shut your trap! That's because the divots were repurrpsd as our pool and lakes. But they're there.

Skipper Obvious: Have you noticed how the pLOpPeR looks a lot like the LOpPeR, but in a knit cap instead of a top hat?

FIRST EDITION COMMENTS

TOP STORY

Clip-Clops

LOL: And now the rest of the story from some friends of mine around the pool...

Lemon Drop: Then Sigmund shrunk all the old pumpkin heads—even the athletic ones, the jock-o’-lanterns. And he presented the Headless Horseman with a happy ending from Ariel’s collection for his ka-noggin. And like the Scarecrow’s brain, the TinMan’s heart and the Lion’s courage, the Headless Horseman was very happy with his new cucuzza. So everyone celebrated with key lime pie.

Orange Pop: And although like Harpo, he spoke not a word, the Headless Horseman said it all by living happily ever after in our little slice of paradise.

Corn Pop: …Compared to the kakistocracy running things back in the city that tonight is sleepy, er, by the hollow, you know, you know the thing.

Nork&Nindi: Why did Sigmund shrink all those pumpkin 🎃 heads?

LOL: Because two hundred heads are better than one; and a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

LMFAO: That Sigmund shufflin’ some cray crayfish Ursula powers. Shots Shots Shots. Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle. 🤖

LOCAL

Car Park, Car Bridge, Car Show

Miyagi-Do Auto Group: Coming Soon a Pre-Opening Car-nival Sale outside 250 Orange on the black top. Parking is limited--on account of all the vehicles parked for sale--but free!

SIDEBAR

Multiverse Kidnapping & Disney's Jungle Cruise

Snuggles🚨: A 🎁reward🧧is offered for the location of the most Hidden Nickeys found in the public areas of Lac of Pin Head. To collect, post your finds here in the Comment form below, and wait to hear by H🎃ll🎃w🎃🎃n. Open to every kid at 🧡.

CROSSWORD

Cheetah: Where’s the answer key?

Alaska: Read the 49 clues below before the big reveal.

Crossword, 3-Down

Celery: Stalking requires good eye sight.

Asparagus: Shoot straight.

Crossword #s 5, 10, 15, and 19.

LOL: Solve them like a rebus 🚌🚌🧩; e.g., Stand?

Do You

Crossword, 9-Across

Gary the Snail: Found under the sea; or on a pizza.

Crossword, 12-Down

We’re Not Anymore: AR15, AtoZ, AK47, and Call Me.

Crossword, 17-Down

Kid & Party Craft: Our pool monster hides in plain sight by drawing his eyelids, slurping his tooth, and reeling in his tentacles; but he is always ready to help a Hasselhoff. 🎼Don't you worry; 🎶it's gonna be all right, 🎵'cause he’s always ready. 🎶

Crossword, 19-Across

Sister Mary Elephant: The only Marx I ever liked were brothers, not comrades. And you could find them in Duck Soup 🎯, with Animal Crackers, all Day At The Races, or at Night At The Opera 🏆.

Sum Ting Wong: If you suspect your pillows are stuffed with Horse Feathers, dial Room Service, because that is some serious Monkey Business, even At The Circus. It’s Cocoanuts.

GuyInYourMedicineCabinet: Looks like you're not sleeping well.

GuyLookingInThatMedicineCabinet: Hey, you're that guy!

Crossword, 20-Across

Eastwood: Right turn!

FUNNIES

Laurel & Yanny’s Wordy Political Cartoons

81 Million: Who was that supposed to be?

74 Million: Who are you supposed to be?

ERRATA

LOL: 🎃 👻 Word Scramble & Crossword Puzzle Clues: Anticipating we would miraculously not use one letter in the 20-word crossword puzzle needed to solve the word scramble, we did highlight some words throughout the articles and some of these Comments that will help you at least complete the crossword.

GenZ: Same thing happened with my babcia. “Dear Grandchildren, sorry I forgot to enclose a check for you before I mailed this card to you. Come see me if you want it sooner than later.”